My Daughter, Elena
After the birth of our first child, Christina,
considering I grew up with many brothers and sisters, Jack and I decided; since
we were both in our early thirties, we would let the Lord direct the timing of
our next child – let nature take its course.
People at work thought we were crazy, to even consider having another
child: “You need time to adjust to
handling the one you have!” But
neither of us wanted to have a child grow up alone. I loved being part of a large family – there
was always someone to hang out with.
Jack, had not been given the opportunity to grow up
with his family as, at age six, he was placed with his Uncle Hulsey – his
mother’s brother, to be raised.
Paulette, age nine, was placed with their Aunt Bennie – their mother’s
sister. Jack felt he had been deprived
of a mother and daddy – family, and grew up never really feeling like part of
their household. At age seventeen Jack
decided to venture out on his own – he joined the Army. From this time on he began making his own
place in the world.
You will understand later on, why I am sharing this
part of the story so please, stay with me!
We lived in a very old house that Jack had purchased
while we were dating – it was approximately 70+ years old and very small; it
was one of those houses that have no hallway: you went through the bedroom, and
another bedroom to get to the bathroom! Also
its floors were covered in an old shag carpet (that I hated) and it had holes
within the walls and fireplace, concealed that “rodents” regularly trafficked. I hated the house and after Christina
arrived, I hated it even more! I recall one
day finding fleas on her from this old shag carpet! That was enough – right? I complained to my
boss at work and he suggested we try what he and his wife tried: “Sevin Dust” as they had the same problem
when moving into their home – it worked.
He told me to sprinkle it all over the floors, leave it for a few days
then vacuum it up – no more fleas, he guaranteed! At this time Christina was three months old,
so considering Jack was an excellent gardener and happened to have this “Sevin
Dust”, I told him about the remedy; he immediately spread it throughout the
whole house and outside areas as well. I
thought perhaps if we let it stay on the floors until the following weekend, this
would guarantee dead fleas.
Well, nature did take its course and three months
after the birth of our first child, I was now expecting my second. I excitedly told everyone at work and
received faces expressing total shock! I
received responses like: “I need to take you aside and explain what
causes this, Sharron” and “you should
not have had another one so soon, and your body needs time to repair” and
many other negative responses. I felt we
were proceeding in the direction the Lord wanted us to – He had ordered our
steps, so I just put my trust in Him.
Jack and I were very excited – we had this little baby for Christina so
she would not be alone. How could someone
from a family of eleven think any other way?
As the pregnancy progressed – when I was
approximately 4 months along, my doctor wanted to do a sonogram on me,
especially due to my age of 33, there were added risks and having just given
birth this same year also. I went and
had my sonogram and while viewing it on the monitor with the nurse-technician,
I recall searching for hands and feet; I would point to something and ask:
“What is that” she would answer, the baby’s legs, their hand/arm, etc. But, I noticed something, which to me, did
not fit – something was moving on the baby that did not match the other
extremities, but the nurse explained: “Oh that looks like its arm and it
appears to be behind its head- it looks like baby is laying on it.” I accepted her professional explanation
without further questioning.
My baby was given a due date of December 31st,
and I had been warned that this was going to be a large baby. Christina, my first born had weighed 8.7 lbs
so, larger than that? Oh well, my mother
survived me being a 9.6 lb baby and lived to tell it, so would I. I had prayed to have another child for
Christina, and during the whole nine month pregnancy, prayed particularly for
its development: 2 hands, 2 feet, totally and perfectly formed and the Lord’s
choice of girl or boy. I also began to
ask Him to direct us to the name of this new little human about to be born: “Lord, if it’s a name we have never heard of,
bring it to our minds, let us read or hear it:
You choose its name”.
A week prior to the baby’s birth, I recall having “dark cloud” feelings as if something was
wrong. I kept feeling it grow as I
approached the due date, until I began to seek the Lord as to why – was
something going to happen? I asked Him
to please help me understand – You be with me and give me strength to handle
this, whatever it is. My close friend,
Rebecca, who was responsible for Jack and I meeting the first time, phoned to
check on me. I remember asking her: “Have you ever had a troubled feeling like
something bad was about to happen – what I describe as dark cloud feelings?
She answered, “No, Sharron, are you having them right now?” After a week of these “trouble in the Spirit”
feelings, not understanding what they were for, seeking His understanding, He
answered: “There is something you are going to go through that you will need Me
to help you with, Trust Me”.
When we first got married, Jack changed jobs and now worked
for Norfolk-Southern RR, in Atlanta ,
Ga.
Around 4:00 PM Jack unexpectedly, walked through the
door and said his boss told him: “Jack, take the rest of the day off, your
wife could have that baby anytime – go home to your wife”. When he walked in the door I asked if he would
mind taking me to the doctor’s office as I was having contractions. One thing that concerned me was with each contraction,
they grew in intensity. This is why I
asked him to take me to be checked out – to see why. He
said: “Okay baby, this had better be the
real deal as my boss sent me home early – let’s get this over with!”
When we arrived at the doctor’s office, after getting
checked, he became concerned as I had dilated to 6-7 centimeters! He told Jack: “Get her to the hospital quickly as I am not prepared to deliver here
in my office, and the way she has babies, you need to get her there as soon as
possible. I will meet you there: GO!”
It was after 5:30 PM when the pushing began and I
waited, expecting to receive an “epidural” like I had with Christina’s birth,
but my doctor said no, I would have to deliver without – naturally, as he
needed me to push, due to the size of the baby.
Jack accompanied me, both times, in the delivery room – he wanted to be
part of it, also he had medical training which contributed also. I was watching the baby crowning when I
noticed something that caused my heart to skip a beat…before the baby was
completely born, we both noticed she had no hand! Her head and this hand less arm appeared,
before we even knew whether we had a boy or girl! I
looked at Jack and we both were in shock, speechless and unable to move. Within a few minutes the nurses cleaned her
up and gave her over to her daddy to hold for the first time.
She was absolutely beautiful! Her arm developed a few inches past her elbow
and looked like it had been amputated.
We were at a loss for words as they took us both to the recovery room,
waiting to be placed in a room. But they
forgot about the three of us completely, due to other deliveries. Jack and I were both tired, needing time to
ourselves, to think and pray about this.
But no one came to even check on us for over an hour and a half. He went out searching for the staff to see
where they were and if they could move us to a room. Usually, immediately they take babies to the
nursery while the mother is taken to the room and recovers. Perhaps the Lord knew we would need this
bonding time with this newest challenge in our lives.
Finally I arrived in my room and Jack left to go home
and rest. I was alone with the Lord – I
had to do some soul searching of my own, before all the upcoming distractions
(Jack, medical staff, my baby’s feeding time, friends, family, etc). I began to pour my heart and soul out to God,
tearfully: “Why Lord? – I prayed for ten
toes, ten fingers like everyone else, and the whole nine months! What had I forgotten, I had trusted Him to
have my baby develop normally, so why was this allowed to happen to me? Have I done something wrong and this is
punishment? Why Lord – I know you allowed
this to happen for a reason, so give me strength – help me understand, show me
how to handle this. What do I tell my
friends and family when they arrive or call, Lord, how do I even begin to talk
to them about this. I feel it is more then I can bear. Give me the strength to walk down this path
and handle this. This is what you tried
to warn me about – show me the way, and help me understand: why!
Finally, I was out of tears so I sat there silent,
before the Lord, empty of words. I could
not sleep for thinking, and each time they brought the baby for me to feed, I
would encounter my feelings all over again.
Somehow I felt the Lord had let me down, forsaken me – I could identify with
Christ as He cried out: “My God, why hast thou forsaken me” and “into thy hand
I commend my spirit”.
Sometime during the course of the evening and my
reflections alone, the Lord sent me assistance.
A nurse, who was on duty that evening, came during her break and visited
me. I did most of the talking – I needed
to think out loud to someone else, besides just thinking. I just needed someone willing to listen – God
choose her. I expressed my trust in the
Lord with this – that even though I did not fully understand why, I trusted He
had good reason for allowing me to go through this ordeal and someday He would
reveal His reason. She left and went
back to her duties at the hospital.
Later that night after her shift had ended, she returned just to sit
with me. After a while, I stopped
talking and she spoke the following: “Sharron, I am a believer, and although I
have not really been living my life for the Lord lately, I came here after my
shift hoping that I might comfort you but it is you that have encouraged and
comforted me.” Your faith and trust In
the Lord has encouraged me till I know I will leave a different person. Please remember my name: Pam West and lift me
up in your prayers.” I have always
remembered Pam West and that night of her visitation – through her I knew He
had not forsaken me.
The next morning Jack phoned to talk about baby names
with me. He and I had chosen “Diane” –
my middle name for her middle name
when Jack said: “I do not like any of the
names on our list, but the name I do like is Elena, but I can’t find it in this
baby name book to find out its meaning.”
I asked: “how you spell it – I
have never even heard of that name before, where did that name come from?” He answered that it just “Popped into my head” and I liked the sound
of it: Elena Diane Wright.” I was in
a semi-private room and while we were discussing this, my hospital roommate
spoke: “Excuse me, I do not mean to
eavesdrop on you but I heard you say “Elena” – tell him to look up Helena or
Helen as Elena is Italian for Helen or Helena.
It was my family name and if I had had a girl, that is the name I would
have chosen, but I had a boy. Jack
quickly looked up the name and I waited in anticipation as to what it
meant. He read: “A
woman of wisdom and great understanding, who shines like a light in the dark;
bright shining light”! I knew immediately that the Lord had
popped that name into Jack’s mind and that the Lord personally named her. To me personally, it became a promise for
this baby’s future, from Him. I would
completely trust Him to direct her life.
My family called to speak to me from Tampa , Florida
My previous boss, Wayne Sims phoned me and gave the
following advice: “I want to share
something with you that I hope will help you with this little baby. When I was growing up I contacted Polio and
it caused one of my legs to be much shorter then the other, and I had great
difficulty with walking and chores – my dad owned a large farm and there was
lots of work to be done. I remember he
use to treat me like I did not have these physical limitations; if I fell he
would yell for me to get back up, there is lots of work to be done. He had no pity on me (or so I thought) and I
struggled daily to meet his expectations.
I now know that his attitude actually helped me grow independent and to
believe in myself, as I had begun to feel sorry for myself. You make sure you never take pity on her, let
her learn to do things on her own – she will figure it out if you allow her
to. You just need to believe in her and
accept her like she is, and she will accept herself as well. Do not ever let her see or hear you feeling
sorry for her as this will not help her grow. “
I went home and had two weeks before I was off
maternity leave and Christina usually went to the baby sitter who lived a
couple of houses from me. The first
morning that I was alone with baby Elena, as was my custom, I carried her to
the Throne of Grace and placed her into my Heavenly Father’s lap. (This time it
was our bed I knelt down before) I
prayed: Father, I cannot do this without you so I am giving this little baby to
you – she is your personal possession from this day forward. Show me how to raise her, help her live up to
the name that you choose for her. Guide
Jack and me both in raising her according to your will.
Several weeks after her birth, I was going for my
first checkup when I noticed a lady with exactly the same defect as Elena! I was shocked and when it was time to consult
with my doctor, after my checkup, I mentioned the lady I had seen in the
waiting room with an arm just like Elena’s.
He said he would get her phone number and see if she would agree to
speak with me. She did, and spoke about
how she had tried prosthesis but did not like them – they limited her. She said she could do about anything – she
could even paint her toenails and fingernails with perfection. Her friends could not even do it with their
two hands and often times they would forget that she did not have but one hand!
The Lord certainly was giving me understanding
through all this day by day – here a little, there a little. I felt He even
revealed to us what had caused this defect.
I had not been one to even touch medications while pregnant and ate
healthy. I did not smoke or drink – I
was clean so I knew it was not something I had taken purposely. One day Jack had been reading his latest
“Organic Gardening” magazine by Rodale and found an article about “Sevin
Dust”. It was entitled, “The Trouble with Carbaryl”. It stated that Sevin Dust was commonly
used as a chemical insecticide; it was also used on pet bedding to stop flea
infestations, particularly dogs and cats.
It warned: May
cause birth defects – Women of childbearing age should not be involved in the
mixing, loading, or application of Carbaryl.
Exposure to Carbaryl during pregnancy should be avoided. It also stated – tests revealed: birth defects
were seen in 11.6% of the pups exposed during gestation period.
This is why I included the third paragraph above
where I asked you to stay with me. I am
one hundred percent certain that inhaling that insecticide when at the time of
the flea treatment, I was unaware I was pregnant. I had walked around for a week in that stuff
having no idea that I was poisoning us both, and my little unseen baby
girl! Also, when I recalled the sonogram
at four months pregnant, of that strange part of the baby I questioned the
technician about – it was this arm, without a hand I had been looking at – her little
“nubby” as we have lovingly come to call it.
The Lord blinded the technician at what she was seeing, and it was not
time for me to see so He concealed it from us, until His time.
My daughter Elena is actually more confident then my
other two daughters and is full of charm and beauty. We tease her because if she happens to be
walking outdoors at night, bugs fly towards her and she has to bat them away
from her – they do not bother the other two!
We tell her it’s because she is a “bright shinning light”. She loves to cook and especially bake and is
very good at it. She is usually our
little “fashion consultant” and the one that everyone goes to for advise. She has wisdom beyond her years, can actually
type with her one hand faster then most with two! She is the socialite of our family and I
have nicknamed her “My Sunshine girl” because that is what she reminds me
of. Most people forget she only has one
hand and sometimes she has to remind us:
“Hey, I need a little help here as
I can’t do this by myself, with just one hand.
While in the first grade, Elena’s teacher – during one
of our conferences, shared with me: “One
day a new student arrived and was introduced to the class, when suddenly he
screamed very loudly: “That girl hasn’t got an arm!” He was very upset and shocked over this, when
the teacher said: “Let’s ask Elena to
tell us what happened to her arm, because none of us know what happened. Elena, would you mind coming up here and
telling the class what happened to you?”
Elena marched right up there and said: “My name is Elena Diane Wright
and I was born without a hand, but I can still cut with scissors, I can write,
and I can tie my own shoes – I can do anything, even without another
hand.” The teacher said, “She sat down and won everyone’s heart that
day. That settled it – no one ever asked her again what happened or questioned
her ability to function by herself from that day on.”
A final note regarding this fiery trial or testing of
my faith: I recall when my 3rd daughter, Rebecca was born, Jack and
I had planned for me to quit work and be home with the girls while they were in
school. It was my last day at work and
Elena was now four years old and I was leaving the office for the final time,
when the Lord spoke to me regarding why He had allowed me to go through this
ordeal. It was as if I had just asked
Him the question that very moment, but it had been 4 years ago that I sat in
the hospital room and relinquished it to Him for understanding – someday. He said:
“The reason I allowed you to go
through this fiery trial was because you have some friends and family that
think you have never gone through anything before – that I have sheltered you
from things. I had to show them that
what you have is real – you are MY real gold and when gold gets tried in the
fire, the fire purifies it. I had to
show them what you have is real.”
The Visitation: I will end this with a
visitation or vision Elena had when she was four. She always had these terrible ear aches that
often times sent her temperatures soaring.
I would sit in my rocker, embracing her, praying over her for the Lord to
remove this fever, and give her Tylenol (I
know, where was my faith now!) to reduce the fever. I took her many times to the doctor and she
seemed to always get antibiotics – the pink stuff, which I might add, my kids
loved to take. A few times she had strep
throat, which really sent temperatures to the danger zone. I could not understand why this precious
child had such attacks continuously. But
one day, after a weekend of swimming in our little above ground pool, Elena had
one of these terrible fevers – swimmer’s ear I believe someone referred to them
as. Anyway, she and Christina shared a
bedroom together and this particular night Elena’s ear was really red. I decided to “lay hands on her” and pray for
the Lord to heal her as she was in terrible pain and crying. I attempted to place my hands over her ears
but the pain in one particular ear was so bad she would not let me touch it. I put my hands on top of her head and began
praying, for the Lord’s healing power to remove this pain from my
daughter. While in the midst of this
prayer, suddenly I felt a charge or current sweep through my whole body. I wondered if I felt that anointing so
strongly that every hair on my body felt fried, what did Elena feel? I wondered… so after the prayer I asked her
if she was okay now and she replied: “it’s okay now mommy since Jesus laid his
hands on my ears - like this (she
placed her little hand upon her ears to show me). I asked: “Are
you sure it was Jesus, and not perhaps your guardian angel?” She answered: “No because he had two of them with him”, but mommy I did not like that
frog thing that jumped off the bed and ran out of the room, after Jesus touch
my ear.” I was shocked at what I was
hearing from this child. I had to ponder
these things, try to understand what just happened here.
A few days following, I drove out to my quilter’s
home to pick up a quilt I had made and Christina had fallen asleep but not
Elena. It was after dark and she should
have fallen asleep from the car ride alone, but instead she was in a talkative
mood. She said: “Mommy you know when I saw
Jesus the other night? He took me
someplace and gave me a honey-cake – it was really good, and then gave me
something to drink, but mommy I did not like the thing with lots of faces and
eyes, it scared me. When Jesus was
taking me back, he showed me this little gown he made for me: mommy, it was so
beautiful, it had sleeves to here and came down to here (she showed me on
her arm and legs where it came to) and it
was all twinkly and sparkly! I asked if
I could wear it right now but he told me: “Not right now but soon, and I have
one for your mother and sister too” – mommy I would look so beautiful in that
gown, I wish he would let me wear it now!
She also described Jesus to me, each time she saw a picture portraying
him she would say: ‘That does not look
like Jesus, he has blue eyes and a blue stripe that went from here to here –
that is not him (she touched her shoulder and drew a line from shoulder to
opposite hip – like a prayer shawl perhaps?).
What an amazing God we serve!
My next
story will be about my youngest daughter, Rebecca and the Lord’s leading
regarding her birth and the name He chose for her.
