Chapter 5: THE WORD OF OUR TESTIMONY [Updated today March 1, 2024]

Today, March 1, 2024 I had a vision/visitation from the Lord while in prayer this morning. It was raining outside and for the past 2 years I have done prayer walks throughout our neighborhood's 3 cul-de-sacs, but today I was only able to walk two and returned home to wait for the rain to let up. But according to weather reports that was not on the horizon.   The Lord said: You can just go into your space and pray.  So I did, and began coming into the Lord's presence, quiet before him, examining my heart, asking for the Holy Spirit to help me pray as I was heavily burdened for my daughter and what I was hearing outside my room. I felt overwhelmed and helpless to make these demonic attacks stop and cried out to the Lord for help on how to deal with this to set her free.  I began praying in the Spirit as I had no words to express my feelings, when I began to cry so broken hearted before him, till the tears began to cease.  I then experienced a visitation from the Lord himself in, I guess, a vision (?).  The Lord appeared  [this images is exactly how he appeared to me in this vision!] and he came up to me and gently took my teary face in his loving hands and said: "I am still here to wipe those tears from your eyes as I did when you were five, as I have never left you.  I am still here beside you, as this battle is not yours but mine, as you are mine and all your battles are mine."

You can read this experience below. [The image I drew from my memory of what Jesus looked like from a five year old's memory drawn 30 yrs ago]

A Heart for God

 

I wanted to share my personal testimony, with the hope that there are others like myself that are searching for answers also.

I came from a Seventh Day Adventist background.  My mother’s people were Seventh Day Adventist, and so were my dad’s.   I was taught at a very young age that the Adventists were the only “latter-day-church”.  I was also told that I must ask Jesus into my heart, and keep the Ten Commandments, that Jesus died for “past” sins and I had to keep the commandments to keep my salvation – I must work for it. I recall feelings of hopelessness at “being good enough” as it seemed I constantly broke commandments especially considering I was one of eleven children and I was the only one that seemed concerned about it. 

One of the commandments that I had the hardest time with was number four: “Honor the Sabbath day and keep it holy” as my family did not attend church unless I asked to go, then a few family members would accompany me.  You were not supposed to do any work on Saturday (Sabbath Day) or watch television – that is what would always get me!  All the good stuff came on television; it seemed to me, on Saturday, especially the mornings: cartoons!  Also every Saturday afternoon “Science Fiction Theater” came on and I loved science fiction movies.  Temptations were everywhere and I always had to ask for forgiveness and felt like a failure.  I use to pray to Jesus and ask him: “why do you even let me keep living as I can’t seem to ever go through a Saturday without sinning.”

I had a heart for the Lord at a very early age: the age of five.  I began “talking” to this personal invisible “friend” I had come to discover – Jesus.  I use to pray to him about everything when I was little.  I use to climb into our closet and during family crisis or a time of need I would converse with him as my grandmother had taught me to do.  Also my older sister, Betty, taught me to say my prayers before going to bed each night; I always prayed: “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.  If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. Forgive me for my sins today (I named them as they came to mind) watch over mommy, daddy, Betty, and help me be good tomorrow, in Jesus name, Amen.” 

Summers were spent with our Grandma Mascunana, on my mother's side who use to tell us bible stories, as she had no TV.  She was a teacher and very knowledgeable regarding the Bible and use to tell us constantly that Jesus was returning very soon and we should get ready. I use to ask her: "Grandma, if I start being good right now will I get to go to Heaven when Jesus comes?"  She would tell me that very soon the book of Life would be closed and no one else could be written in it - you would be either saved or lost.  Also she stated believers would have to go through the terrible 7-year tribulation period that Revelation spoke about and that God would seal all that belonged to Him and protect them.  

One summer while staying with my grandmother (on my mother’s side) I became very ill.  My brothers and sisters use to run up and down the stairs to my grandmother’s apartment chasing each other, but I wasn't feeling very well, so I let my grandmother know.  I became so sick that I can remember not being able to respond to her voice and questions about what was wrong.  I could hear her voice but I felt like I didn’t have enough energy in my body to respond to her.  I remember just staring up at her face while she wiped my face and body with a cool wash cloth – I had a very high fever.  I remember feeling like each breath would be my last, as if I had no more energy to breathe another time. 

My grandmother use to keep us during the summers while my mother and father drove tractor-trailers long distance from Tampa, Florida to New York.  This was around 1953 so there were no cell phones or any way to contact my parents to let them know how sick I was.  She did not want to take me to the doctor or hospital without my parents’ permission nor did she have the funds to do so.  She tried waiting but my fever got so high and my breathing very labored.  She finally got scared and took me to the hospital where the doctor informed her: “Mrs. Mascunana, you have a very sick little girl and if you had waited until the morning she would not have made it through the night”.  The doctor said: “even now we are not sure we can save her as she has a very serious bladder infection.”  They placed me under intensive care for ten days in a room with a lady that was 100 years old, who was close to death also.  A nurse sat with us for the first part of that time until the fever broke.  I do remember being placed into whirlpool tubs to bring my fever down and having chills where they would cover me with warm blankets. 

During this time I had an experience with the Lord Jesus Christ that was to change me for the rest of my life.  I do not know if what I experienced was a dream or whether I was actually so close to death that my spirit was leaving my body, I only know that I saw the Lord.  I was somewhere above the earth in a cloud with Jesus.  I was dressed in a little white robe and Jesus had his arm around me; I was crying as if my heart was broken and He said, “Little one, why weepiest thou?  Where I am going to take you, you will never be sick or hurt again.  You will never remember the things that have hurt you and caused you pain.  Where I am taking you, you will only remember happy things, and you will never be sick again, so why are you weeping?”  Somehow I knew I was dying, even as a child.  He placed his hands on each side of my face and with his thumbs, wiped the tears from my face, but I began to cry even harder.  I said: “but I do remember and I am unhappy because I want my mother to be there too.  Please let me go back and tell her about you and heaven so she will be there too.”  Suddenly I seemed to be descending down to earth, through the roof of our house – in the kitchen, where my mother was cooking.  I remember running up to her, pulling on her clothes, trying desperately to describe what I had just seen, but she told me to go outside and play as she was very busy and did not have time.  I remember feeling sad – it was like the Lord wanted to show me what I was going to be up against.

During this same ten day time period, I had another dream or vision.  I dreamed that my mother and I were walking down what seemed to be a road filled with the cares of this life – scenes like store windows showing: school rooms, parks with kids playing, grocery stores, etc. when I saw this stairway leading up to heaven along the way; it looked like golden transparent glass.  On either side, every so many steps were these beautiful happy beings in white apparel and they were smiling at us and with their facial expressions and hands were gesturing for us to come up – it seemed to me we were welcome to climb those stairs!  I could see a strange light at the top of the stairs – it reminded me of a sunbeam coming through a window with dust particles floating around in it, only this was a very bright light with sparkling dust floating within the beam of light.  There seemed to be a beautiful park at the top, which intrigued me – I grabbed my mother’s hand and said, “Let’s go up there” and I tried pulling her up with me but she resisted and said: “I can’t go, you’ll have to go by yourself”, and she pulled away.  I grabbed her hand again and pulled her back towards the stairs but again she said, “No Sharron, I can’t go”.  I ran up to her again pleading with her: Mommy, look: they want us to come – it would make them happy if we went up there!”  But again, she answered: “Sharron, I cannot go with you, you are going to have to go alone – I cannot go with you.”

When I was about 14 years of age, I found out what the Lord was trying to tell me through this dream-vision.  He was saying: Sharron, you must make up your mind about me – you must choose between me and your mother.”  Well, I chose Him and decided to seek His help in bringing my mother with me.  While at a crusade at age 14, the minister said: “You know Jesus said, if you are ashamed to confess me before men, I’ll be ashamed to confess you before my father in heaven and his holy angels, but if you confess me before men then I too will confess you before my father in heaven and all his holy angels.  I was one of eleven children – second to the oldest and had all of our family with me at this crusade, but I heard the Lord ask me: “Sharron, if you really love me, I want you to go down there”.  I knew I loved him but did not want to go alone so I tried to get someone to go with me – I was afraid I would get left or separated from my family, but no one volunteered to go with me.  My heart was pounding through my chest – I knew I had to go and show the Lord that I loved him but was torn over going alone when my mother said:  “Sharron, if you want to go down there, go ahead, we will wait for you”.  I got up to go and after descending a few steps, my grandmother (my father’s mother) stood and said she would go with me.  She told me she wanted to make sure I was willing to go alone first.  I got baptized into the Seventh Day Adventist church the following Saturday. 

After this I tried keeping the Ten Commandments, confessing each night before I went to sleep, any sins I had committed.  I would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and either remember some sin I forgot to include or fell asleep without saying my childhood prayer!  I lived in fear of forgetting to confess something and on judgment day finding out I did not qualify for heaven – it was tormenting!  Sometimes I’d be so unhappy that I use to ask God to let me die.  I thought: what was the use in living because, no matter how hard I tried or how bad I wanted to, I just could not live a day without sinning!  I was just no good – a waste of God’s time; I was so unhappy over this failure to measure up to God’s standards!  After I had been baptized I remember my dad saying, “Ah, you are going to hell just like the rest of us – you aren’t any better then the rest of us.  I made up my mind right then and there that if God had made a way to get to heaven then I would find it!  I would show my dad that I did not have to go to hell – if God had made a way to get to Heaven, then I wanted God to show it to me!

When I was 21 years old, the Lord ordered my steps to Georgia.  He also put me with a Baptist believer that invited me to her church.  I remember thinking I could not attend her church as she was of the “mark of the beast” cause she worshiped on Sunday.  I thought it was of the devil – like devil worship but wanted to attend one of her services to see what it was like – to compare it to ours.  I asked the Lord to please protect me while I was in their service from the “mark of the beast” and the Antichrist.  I went with her and was totally surprised to find out that the Lord’s presence was there!  I knew he was there and I had not even felt his presence like that in my own Adventist church, ever!  I would just feel good because I had obeyed the 4^th commandment each time I attended church.  I became so confused that I ran home and as was my custom, I ran into the presence of the Lord – to His throne of Grace.  I had come to the conclusion that Jesus was the place to seek the answers.  I asked him to please let me know where he wanted me to worship – the Adventist or the Baptist – which one are you in - which one is truth?  I laid all before the Lord – every belief that I had at that moment.  I said: “Lord, which church do you want me to attend?”  I totally threw away all my beliefs and started with Jesus and came to the conclusion that I could trust Him and Him alone and not “men”.  I knew He would lead me the right way.  I felt like I’d start over – with just the Bible and Jesus.  I threw away everything else I had been taught.  I started step by step, in simple trust and faith in Jesus alone, knowing that He would not lead me in the wrong direction.

The first time I attended the Baptist church service I recall the pastor’s sermon – it was about coming out from among them and separating ourselves from some of our friends that are not living for the Lord.  I was hanging out with people that did not believe or live for the Lord so I had to find new friends, which I did at this little Baptist church.  I remember when the pastor gave the invitation that first Sunday, I did not even wait for the song to finish – I almost ran down the isle, thinking I had to be saved all over again.  When I got down there and the pastor’s wife explained that “for by grace are ye saved through faith: and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast. (Ephesians 2:8,9)  She explained that all I had to do to receive eternal life was ask Jesus into my heart and accept him as my personal savior.  I remember thinking, you mean I had “eternal life” all this time and I didn’t even know it?  All these years – since age 14, that I had done everything that needed to be done to “get to heaven?” I couldn’t believe it was so easy and wonderful!  He, who the Son sets free, is free indeed!  I had been set free – for the first time in my Christian life I was at peace with God and free indeed!

I hope my testimony helps you realize that Jesus is “the Way, The Truth and the Life, no man comes to the Father except through Jesus. 

If you would like to guarantee that your name is written in the Lamb’s book of life and that He will confess you before His Father and all the Holy angels, please pray this simple prayer and only believe, to receive Jesus as Savior and Lord:

Father, it is written in Your Word that if I confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in my heart that you have raised him from the dead, I shall be saved.  Therefore, Father, I confess that Jesus is my Lord.  I make Him Lord of my life right now.  I believe in my heart that You raised Jesus from the dead.  I renounce my past life with Satan and close the door to any of his devices. 

I thank you for forgiving me of all my sin.  Jesus is my Lord, and I am a new creation.  Old things have passed away; now all things become new in Jesus’ name.  Amen. 

Scripture References:

John 3:16                                                      John 14:6

John 6:37                                                      Romans 10:9, 10

John 10:10                                                    Romans 10:13

Romans 3:23                                                Ephesians 2:1-10

2 Corinthians 5:19                                        2 Corinthians 5:17

John 16:8, 9                                                  John 1:12

Romans 5:8                                                  2 Corinthians 5:21

Chapter 12: OUR LOVE'S TRIALS, PART 4

The Journey Home – Heaven’s Gates Open Wide

After Jack’s last attempt to take his life, he realized that this was not acceptable to the Lord and relinquished himself to the Lord’s will.  He began to seek the Lord, through prayer and watched a lot of choice TV Evangelists.  I know a few of them:  Dr. David Jeremiah, Joyce Myer (he really loved Joyce Myer) and Shepherd’s Chapel (only because they actually read chapter and verse on TV).  I was trying to work as long as I could as I figured at some point down the road I would have to take off to be home with Jack.  I tried to save up all my sick leave and vacation in anticipation of the time when he would need me to be there.  I use to pray that the Lord would number his days and that when the time came for the Lord to take Jack home to be with Him – it would have His signature on it, and would speak of Him.  My youngest daughter Rebecca was 18-19 years old at this time and delayed entering college so she could be home with her daddy, watching out for him during the day while I worked.  Even though I was greatly concerned over how I was going to financially handle the cut in pay while on sick leave, I still trusted the Lord’s timing in all this.  (Note: I ended up only using 17 sick-leave days the whole course of his 15-year bout with cancer: I reached the limits of accumulative sick leave, so Cobb County School District added 1 year to my retirement totals when I finally retired –people, that’s God!) 

Around a year before Jack passed away, he started having problems again – nothing major but he knew something was not right as he had begun to lose his ability to walk.  He had become, what he called: “A wall-walker”, as he would have to hold onto the wall as he went back and forth to the rest room or outside to sit and smoke, and get some much needed fresh air.  We checked into getting him a motorized wheel chair or scooter but our downstairs, where he stayed would not accommodate either. We found these wireless remote doorbells and placed one upstairs and one downstairs so if Jack needed us he could ring the doorbell and we would check on him.  I did a lot of sewing – making quilts, and was downstairs most of the time in my sewing room; to be near him should he need me.  Many times he would fall down and it was nearly impossible for us to get him back up on his feet. 

One day something happened that totally scared Jack, enough that he had to call an ambulance to take him to Emory University Hospital for Dr. Olson to investigate.  While we waited for the results of his CT scan and MRI, a doctor that had never seen Jack, checked his films to see what was going on – to compare them to his last one.  He finally filled us in on Jack’s latest prognosis – it wasn’t good! 

We were told that the cancer had changed and had upgraded to a Glioblastoma Multiform and appeared to be everywhere now.  He was immediately placed on Hospice care and basically sent home to let it run its course.  I checked on-line for information regarding his prognosis and how it was different now compared to his previous “Glioma Astropsytoma”;  putting it into layman’s terms – it basically meant: Stage 4 cancer, all shapes and sizes, blasted everywhere in his brain” – it was like a shotgun blasted cancer cells everywhere, in every size!     The MRI “slices” revealed live cancer in all areas of Jack’s brain; still he had none of the systems Dr. Olson told us to watch out for!  Only God can claim responsibility for that! 

 I remember I had just been moved to the main office for Cobb County School District, as we had a new supervisor, in the Textbook Warehouse – but it was much closer to our house, should Jack need me.    I was concerned over how our new supervisor would feel, should I need to suddenly leave to be with Jack, but she totally understood: “whatever you need to do Sharron, its okay with me.”    

I remember about three months prior to Jack’s death having “dark cloud” feelings and writing my pastor about it and asking for prayer.  One of the warehouse supervisors, “Curtis” was a believer and one morning I arrived at work, when this feeling of dread fell upon me very strongly, so I asked him if he had ever had what I called “dark cloud” feelings before?  Most people could not relate when I tried to describe these to them but something usually always happened when I had them this strong.  Curtis answered: “Yes, Sharron I know exactly what you are talking about – as a matter of fact, I too have been having them for the past few weeks, and have felt they were for you; I am praying for you and your family though”.   

Rebecca phoned one day to tell me her daddy was acting very strange: he seemed unusually confused; it was freaking her out.  She asked: “could you please come home and check on him?”  I left work and half way home a premonition took hold of me so strong that I just started crying bitterly before the Lord – driving through a flood of tears!  I thought I was going to have to pull over, it hit me so hard.  I felt like Jack had died – it was as if the Lord let me feel right then, every emotion and feeling of loss I would experience somewhere in the near future.  I pleaded with the Lord to give me strength to be able to withstand the grief and sorrow, when the time came, for me and my girls to lose Jack.  I really felt as if Jack had died but knew he had not!  I wanted also, to stop crying before I got home and confronted Jack and Rebecca.  I did not want them to know I was crying so bitterly – Jack needed me to be strong, so did my girls.  I now feel that the Lord let me experience all the grief I would encounter at that moment, and then He totally replaced it with His peace, strength and joy, that pass all understanding, which I still have to this day! 

When I got home Jack seemed very confused – I was not sure what was taking place.  He pointed to the floor and said:  “Momma, you need to do something about all those cave crickets over there – see them?  They are all along the walls – you need to call an exterminator.”  I looked all along the baseboards but did not see even one cricket, much less the numbers Jack spoke of seeing.  I called his hospice nurse and they came to check him out.  When I explained to the nurse what Jack had seen, that was not really there, she told me:  “To him those crickets are really there – he can see them; it could be a side effect of the Morphine he is on – just go kill them or spray them, go along with whatever he says he sees, as you will never convince him they are not there.”   

The doctor prescribed one Morphine pill a day for Jack, just to be safe, and we had a bottle of liquid Morphine in our refrigerator, for future use should the time come that he would need it.  He took a few other prescriptions but nothing significant.  All things considered Jack had none of the symptoms the doctors had prepared him for!  When the Hospice nurse came to check on him several times a week, they would ask: “Jack, any headaches? (No), seizures? (No) problems sleeping? (No), anything going on we need to know about? (No)  He would say:  “I just wish I could get up and walk outside once in a while, I would love it if you could make that happen”. 

I will never forget when the Lord gave me an “attitude adjustment”.  After a particularly hard week end, I was feeling sorry for myself regarding all I had to deal with (like taking care of the personal, private needs that a bed ridden person has – you take for granted while you are able to do them for yourselves!) and I was thinking how the Lord was using all this to change Jack and his spiritual attitudes and this is what I received from the Lord: (I felt like one of the seven churches in Revelation: “Nevertheless, these things I have against you”…) “Sharron, this is not just about Jack and his attitudes and what I am doing in his life – you have some attitudes that need working on yourself! It is how you deal with these things – your attitude in dealing with what Jack is going through that I am going to hold you accountable for!  Remember to ‘bring honor and glory to my name!”  I noticed I had become cynical and perhaps a little critical regarding all I had been going through.  But the Lord reminded me – after I had been complaining (to myself) over climbing the stairs about four times in five minutes: “You think you have it tough – what about Jack?  He is only able to sit on the corner of the bed all day – at least you can walk and do whatever you desire – he cannot!”  Do you know how much Jack would love to be able to go up and down these stairs that you are complaining about?  I hung my head in shame – I became aware that the Lord was also trying to change my own attitudes.  I had been feeling sorry for myself over having to be responsible for Jack’s duties along with my own; also not being able to attend church like I use to.  I came to realize, “this too shall pass” – this is just a season in my life: I must be careful how I respond to Jack’s trials and needs; I must do it as unto the Lord. 

One particular Christian nurse, Zoe, loved Jack and use to tell him:  “Jack, considering all you’ve been through, I’ve never known a person with such a sweet, wonderful attitude as you have.  You are a pleasure to attend to – one day when we all get to Heaven, you are going to have such a large crowd around you and I’m going to be standing in that crowd yelling: Hey Jack, remember me?  I use to be your nurse!  He would laugh and say:  “Zoe, Zoe, Zoe!”   All the Hospice personnel assigned to him kept telling him what a wonderful man he was.  They told him he was a joy to be around – an inspiration, and that he had the most wonderful attitude considering what he’s had to deal with.  This really blessed Jack and made him “blossom.”  I guess he never thought of himself as a blessing, inspiring other people’s lives – this seemed to open his spiritual eyes a lot.  

The last four months of Jack’s life, he was spiritually ready for the Lord.  He was truly “at peace” in his heart and spirit.  He was looking forward to his new life in heaven – forever.  He came to realize that he was doing something for the Lord while going through his trials; by the way he was handling and responding to his situation.  He realized that God was getting glory by the way he was going through what he had been dealt.   

The last few weeks before Jack died, my supervisor allowed me to work from home to be with Jack.  Our computer office was right off our bedroom and I would work there, where I could check on him easily.  One evening I was searching through the bookshelf for a computer book, when I came across a little praise song book.  I began to flip through it and came to a song, “It Is Well with My Soul”.  I use to sing in a choir at Gold Kist and my church, so decided to see if I still remembered it, and when I got to the second stanza the Lord spoke:  “Jack is listening to you sing, it is really ministering to him – it comforts his soul – sing it for him”.  I began to sing with all my heart as if I were the only one in the house, knowing he was listening, even though I only sang with choirs, never solo, but this was different – it was for him; I sang the whole song.  Even though we never spoke about it, I knew it had ministered to Jack’s spirit and all was well with his soul!  Here are the lyrics:

It Is Well With My Soul
1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, 
when sorrows like sea billows roll; 
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, 
It is well; it is well with my soul. 
Refrain: 
It is well with my soul, 
it is well, it is well with my soul. 

2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, 
let this blest assurance control, 
that Christ has regarded my helpless estate, 
and hath shed his own blood for my soul. 
(Refrain) 

3. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought! 
My sin, not in part but the whole, 
is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more, 
praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul! 
(Refrain) 

4. And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight, 
the clouds be rolled back as a scroll; 
the trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend, 
even so, it is well with my soul. 
(Refrain) 

On the night before Jack passed away, I was working downstairs in my computer room when he called for me – he had fallen off the bed.  I got one of my daughter’s guy friends to help me lift him back on the bed, when he asked: “Hey momma, how about a cup of that wonderful coffee you make.”  I had been concerned because he had not slept at all in the past 24 hours but he refused to sleep.  Next he decided he wanted something to eat.  I prepared him some soup, of his choice but noticed when he spoke that his voice sounded raspy.  It sounded like he was beginning to lose his voice, it was much lower.  I asked: “what’s wrong with your voice – why are you talking like that?”  He answered; “Like what, this is the only way I can talk”.  Also, I noticed one of his legs was swollen – twice the size of the other one, and looked sunburned.  It had slid off the bed and I tried to lift it back and he screamed – just touching it was agonizing to him.  I knew something was happening but did not know what.  The final clue that his system was shutting down was when I checked his catheter-bag which was empty so I knew his kidneys were also shutting down!  I quickly called Hospice to see what I should do!  Our nurse instructed me to get the little bottle of Morphine in your refrigerator we gave you for this purpose.  It will help him breath – put a drop under his tongue, as often as he needs it; check with me as often as you need to – it sounds like his system is shutting down, it may be his time.   

I sat down next to him and I remember he grabbed my hand and held it tight – clinging to me as if for dear life.  I picked up a book entitled: “Heaven: Close Encounters of the God Kind” by Jesse Duplantis and started reading it to him.  After a couple of hours of him clinging to me – not wanting me to let go, he suddenly seemed unable to breath.  It was like the wind got knocked out of him and his face was full of panic.  I placed my hands upon his chest and yelled: “In the name of Jesus let him alone!”  He started breathing again and I quickly phoned our nurse.  She told me to keep giving him the Morphine drops, as in addition to being a pain reliever, it would open up his airways and help him breath.  I went through this for hours, until around 4:00 AM; he seemed to be at rest – sleeping so I decided I would try and get a little sleep myself.  We had placed a twin mattress on the floor beside the bed to soften his falls – he would try not to awaken me when he needed something, but in doing so would slide off the bed onto the floor.  I committed Jack to the Lord’s care, asked Him not to let anything happen while I slept and to awaken me if something should happen.   

Around 7:30 AM I suddenly woke up; I could not believe I had slept for over 4 hours – was he still alive, I wondered?  I saw that he was, but he was breathing funny – very noisy.  I called our Hospice nurse who was on her way, not far from us – she stated she would be there shortly.  She arrived and mentioned: “You know we could take your husband to the hospital and offer him some relief but he was very specific about letting things run their course and wanted to be at home when his time came – I believe he is going through congestive heart failure.”  

 I did not want to go against Jack’s wishes so I committed it to the Lord’s timing and called my church for prayer.  They sent one of our churches’ deacons – Larry Canady to our house to pray with us.  Larry arrived and asked: “What can I do for you Sharron, anything?”  We walked over to Jack and I asked him to lay hands on him and pray for his breathing.  He began to pray: “Lord, help this man – relieve his suffering; he has been through so much with this sickness, and his family has suffered along with him.  His heart is right before you – just let the man go, he has suffered enough Lord, please – let him go on to be with you, in Jesus Name, Amen.”  As soon as Larry finished praying, Jack relaxed and the noisy breathing stopped!  We looked at each other and said: “Wow, did that work or what!”  My girls would not come down as it frightened them to see and hear their daddy like that.  But just about this time Christina and Rebecca came down the stairs to bring me coffee, when the nurse said:  “Your husband just made eye contact with me, if you want to say something to him, now would be the time – you won’t have long so you need to do it quickly, he can hear you and understand.”  

I went first and told Jack: :Everyone always tells me what faith I have and how strong I am but it was because I was married to you that I am who I am – you are everything I asked the Lord for – you are my “Mr. Wright”.  Everything that I am today is because I was married to you.”   Next Christina went:  She told her daddy that he had taught them to be family and love each other – “family is all you’ve got so you love and take care of each other: you taught us that daddy.”  Rebecca told her daddy that he was a good daddy and she loved him.  Elena was still upstairs so we had her come down; she spoke last (it was like Jack was waiting for his last daughter) saying that her daddy was a good and loving father to them all and she loved him.  Finally, I thought I would say a prayer on Jack’s behalf, as if I was praying his final words before he departed: “Father into thy hands I commend myself, please forgive me for my indiscretions, cleanse me and forgive me of any wrong I’ve done, in Jesus Name.”  Jack looked at me and made eye contact and said: “I love you” and closed his eyes.  I thought he was going to sleep but the nurse said (the moment Jack closed his eyes): “he’s passed.”  I did not believe it so I reached up and touched his face – I said, “I think he is just sleeping.”  She answered, “No, he has passed but I can double check for you if you want me to confirm it.”  He had passed the moment he uttered his last words: “I love you!”  It definitely had God’s signature and timing all over it! 

Elena and a friend of hers did not want to be down there when they announced he had passed so they started back up the stairs.  Before she ascended, while at the bottom of our stairway, she said:  “Momma, daddy’s doorbell is ringing.”  I asked if it could be our house front doorbell, but she said, “No, it’s daddy’s doorbell – it’s ringing.”  I had one doorbell unit upstairs in the living room and the other in my sewing room, downstairs but both switches that controlled the doorbell unit (made them ring) were on Jack’s night stand.  He had both switches there; usually one was inside the drawer as a backup, the other on top somewhere.  Jack was in a hospital bed on one side of the room and we had stuff (twin mattress, chair, portable toilet, etc.) between his bed and the night stand.  I had been reading Jesse’s book about Heaven to him, but it was on the night stand – no one was anywhere near that night stand.  We were all around Jack’s bed but it was still ringing!  I went to locate the two switches and found one lying near his lamp.  Rebecca said, “Well that’s really creepy because his other switch is right there and is still ringing!”  I went to find out how this was possible – what was causing it to continue ringing?   I moved my Heaven book but there was nothing touching that other switch Rebecca had seen!  The timing of that doorbell ringing when no one went anywhere near that night stand to trigger it’s ringing, the moment the nurse pronounced him officially dead, was – to us, a God moment!  We all felt like Jack had made it to the gates of Heaven and wanted his family to know – “I’m here, you need to let them know I made it!” when his guardian angel said: “I can take care of that for you Jack” and an angel – for the last time, pressed that doorbell as Jack was escorted through the gates of Heaven!  Even if the nurse somehow had pressed it, it usually stopped the moment you took your finger off the switch – it did not continue to ring with no one touching it.  Jack’s switch kept ringing for a few minutes till we located both switches.  Everyone in that room felt the Lord’s presence that day and an anointing – as Jack bowed in the presence of his King, he was finally free and home!  Larry said: “Wow that was incredible – I’ve never experienced anything like that in my life, the Lord was truly in this place!” 

One more thing that the Lord did, I believe as a confirmation for me personally.  When I went to make Jack’s final arrangements, one of our deacons, Paul Chastain offered his assistance with setting things up for the service.  I had made Jack’s funeral arrangements 12 years prior, reluctantly but in the end was glad I had done it.  Our music director was going to play and sing a couple of songs that Jack liked.  One song Jack really loved, which was his favorite was: “Amazing Grace” so I arranged to have that sang and one other (I cannot recall at this time) but I was instructed to choose two songs.  If I could have chosen one more (I told Paul Chastain) I would have chosen, “All Is Well with My Soul” as the Lord had me sing that to Jack two weeks before he died.  When the service started, they started out playing “All Is Well with My Soul”!  I could not stop the tears of joy, as Paul had so lovingly added an extra song and had them sing it, I felt, to me!  I felt it was the Lord’s hand behind this and it told me that “All was well with Jack’s soul”

We had fought the fight, kept the faith and now there is laid up for me a crown of rejoicing unto all that look and love His appearing – Jack is my crown of rejoicing, and I get to spend all of eternity with him in the Father’s house with the King of Kings forever!

Chapter 11: OUR LOVE’S GREATEST TRIALS, Part 3

My Sheep Hear My Voice and Answer When I Call

During the course of Jack’s brain cancer experience, he twice tried to take his own life.  He became very discouraged; full of hopelessness, and despair gripped his soul.  He was in fear – anguish overtook his mind over what he may go through (and put his family through) regarding this brain tumor.  Our doctor was meticulous in forecasting doom and gloom, revealing all that Jack was likely to experience – what we should watch out for.  Some of these things were:  seizures, headaches, memory loss, sleeping – eventually going into a coma: not waking up at some point, losing his thinking faculties, losing his ability to walk –become bedridden at some point, and probably much more but this is what stands out most that bothered Jack.  He felt he was just a burden to everyone and that he could no longer be the main provider – he hated that I had to go back to work and he stay home.  Also, sharing the room with the dentist in the final stages of this cancer did not help as he constantly brought it up.  I would always tell him: “Jack, I do not believe you are going to loose your mind or suffer those things as I have asked God to number your days and not let you suffer those things – I believe He heard me and that is not going to happen.  Also, every day that you are alive and draw your breath, it is a testimony to the world, of God’s hand upon you, as you should not be alive now.”  This would appease him for a period of time but these tormentors would constantly return hitting him faster and harder with each attack.

Also, Jack loved gardening and he was very good at it.  He was always tilling his garden of weeds, watering it, and preparing what he would plant next – even drawing little diagrams, rotating his crops, ordering plants and seeds for his next planting.  It was torture when he had to give up his gardening!  I actually tried to take over one summer while he sat outside but it was a disaster!  He had a Troy Horse tiller and while he had shown me how to operate it, the tiller was so powerful (and I was not) that I could not turn it at the end of the row and it went into our chain link fence!  That was the last of my tilling days, needless to say.      

After Jack’s brain tumor changed to stage 4, he contemplated quite a bit, what the doctor said he would probably experience.  He began to speak of “checking out” or finding a way to end his life – make it look accidental, so the girls and I would have double life insurance.   One way that came to his mind that he mentioned to me, was driving very fast down the East-West connector near our house at night and having it appear he had fallen asleep.  At this time the East-West connector ended on Hicks road, right at our church – there was a very high wall of dirt and rocks: phase II had not begun yet on this connector.  I would always counter his thinking by telling him: “Your life is not your own – it belongs to Christ, the day you accepted Jesus as savior – you were bought with a price and now Jesus gets to say when and how you leave this world – the choice is His now, not yours.  I would also ask how he could even consider something like that, leaving the girls and me with that kind of legacy.”  He felt God would understand his wanting to end his life as he had no purpose now, he was becoming a burden and that would get worse in days ahead.  I remember repeatedly telling him: “Jack, one day when you get to heaven you are going to see your ordeal through the lives you touched just by living!  You do not have to do anything but live and breathe – you’re a living testimony of God’s intervention in your life, as you should not even be alive right now.  Some day you will be ashamed that you even asked those questions, when you see the place that the Lord has prepared for you, it will tell you how intimately He knew you – it will probably have rich, black dirt and plenty of places for your garden.  You will understand one day, when you see the actual faces of the lives your story has touched.”  

One night, some months later Jack got up to smoke and mentioned he needed some coke as we were completely out.  He was going to find a station or something open to get some cigarettes and cokes.  He had many times done this so it did not really alarm me, only I began to realize he was gone much longer this time.  I got up to see what was taking him so long and looked all over the house for him to no avail. I began searching outside when I noticed our Chevy Astro Van was missing, so I went back into the house to wait.  But what should have been a 30 minute trip was now two hours.  I sat on the couch looking out the window, watching for headlights and praying.  As each minute seemed like an hour, I prayed earnestly for him.  I wanted to go out and search for him, but “where would I start – he has had time to travel hundreds of miles by now.  I agonized before the Lord at what to do – I felt like I was helpless and totally in the dark on what to do, how to proceed.  My girls were in elementary school and Rebecca was still very young so I could not leave them alone.  My questions were: “what if my girls wake up and find me missing; what if I leave to go find him and he has crashed someplace and the Sheriff comes out to tell me – my girls would be alone, having no idea where either of us were, and I could get into trouble for leaving them unattended.”  My prayer was: “What am I to do Lord?  Should I take a chance and go look for him or wait?  Please bring him back home – don’t let him take his life Lord, please give your angels charge over him and keep him from succeeding.”   

While I lost track of exactly how long Jack was gone, I knew it was at least 2-3 hours since he left.  Finally the Lord spoke, urgently: “Go get your clothes on now!”  I ran and threw on what I had taken off that evening, and grabbed my keys.  I started the car and at the end of my street I asked: “Lord, which way do I turn – left or right?”  He answered: “Left”, so I turned left onto Seminole Circle.  Next I came to Floyd Road and had to turn either left or right so again I inquired of the Lord: “which way?”  He answered:  “Just wait here – see that vehicle coming way down the road (the headlights were far away – I could barely see them) wait for it to pass.”  Now, I could have pulled out two or three times by now but nevertheless, at His command – I waited.  (“Doesn’t that sound like Peter when the Lord told him to cast his net and he said: Lord, I have been fishing all night, but nevertheless, I will do as you say?”) When the vehicle was about to pass I suddenly realized it was Jack!  I just could not believe it was him the Lord had me waiting on – talk about perfect timing, God has it, let me tell you!  I pulled out behind him and followed as he turned right onto the East-West connector.  I drove up next to him and blew the horn and yelled:  “Jack, what are you doing – come home, please!”  He looked bewildered and shocked to see me but turned around and followed me back home.

After I had him safely back in my arms again, I held him and let him speak his heart.  He said: “I made up my mind, I was not coming back home; I decided I would keep trying until I accomplished it, only each time I would build up speed a car would suddenly cross my path and I would have to turn suddenly onto Hicks Road – where are all these people coming from at this time of the night.  They should be home sleeping at this hour, not driving around all night.  I have been going around the neighborhood for hours!”   (I felt like the Lord had an angel appear each time Jack tried to crash, to deter him!)  I also felt the Lord reveal to me that this time Jack would have been successful, if I had not gone out to find him.  I knew that knowing the Lord’s voice, trusting Him and waiting upon Him had saved Jack’s life that night.   I again encouraged him that Jesus Christ paid the price for his life – “it now belongs to Him, not you and you just need to let Him number your days – I know He will not let you go through more than you can bear.”  When he would ask: “Momma, what are you going to do when I become like that dentist and am totally out of my mind?  I do not want you having to deal with what that man’s family went through, with me.”  I told him: “Jack, God will give me the strength to handle whatever you go through. He will give me the strength and wisdom to handle it – if and when it happens.  I trust Him to be there for me and to guide me when that time comes.”

A few years down the road, on a Thursday night, Jack evidently decided to end his life, again.  I thought he was over that, but that evening he needed his Flexeril prescription filled and I went to get it for him.  When I returned home he had a bottle of “Jack Daniel Whiskey” sitting on the table which really upset me.  I do not like alcohol and its effects upon people but I let it go considering what Jack was dealing with.  He wasn’t one to get intoxicated so I said nothing but I was concerned at mixing his med’s with alcohol – some of them warned about drinking alcohol.  I was getting ready to go to bed and Jack was sitting on the deck smoking, so I went to kiss him goodnight.  I felt a presence on the deck with Jack and knew that he was going to try something that night.  As I embraced Jack and kissed him, he started telling me how much he loved me and the girls, that he was grateful to God for bringing me into his life and that I had been a good wife to him.  When I went to bed I just came against the spirit of suicide and committed Jack to the Lord’s keeping all night long and asked the angels to watch over him and keep him from harm.  I asked the Lord not to let it work, if Jack was not ready to stand before Him. 

The next morning I got up to get the girls off to school – Rebecca was in the 1st grade at this time, Christina – 5th, and Elena 4th.  When I went upstairs to wake them up, I found Jack lying on the floor at the front door!  I checked his breathing and he was barely breathing, and his eyes looked strange – all black like there was no pupil.  I got the girls out the door to catch their bus and I remember they looked troubled, not understanding what had happened to their daddy.  I told them he probably just fell and was not able to get back up and just fell asleep till I got up to help him.  Truthfully, I did not have any idea what he had taken or done. 

After the girls left I phoned my sister Betty and my mother in Tampa, Florida to tell them what happened, and to ask for prayer.  My mother and sister both told me to get off the phone and call 911 immediately.  But as I picked up the phone to call, I felt the Lord speak to me strongly: “No, wait”.  So I decided to call my pastor Steve Brown and have him pray with me – while he was praying I felt a tremendous anointing like static electricity!  Afterwards, I immediately fell upon my face before the Lord and humbled myself in His awesome presence and asked Him to show me what to do about Jack: “should I call 911 or wait?”  I knew Jack would not want me to call them, so I would be going against his wishes to call 911.  Still, common sense tells you, you must call!  So I called another close friend, Ruth, who also said: “Sharron you have to call 911 right now, before something happens to Jack!  I again picked up the phone to call, when I heard the Lord’s voice again, only this time louder and stronger: “No, wait”! 

A couple of my friends expressed their concerns over whether I may have to answer for it, if Jack died, and I sat there and did nothing.  Questions were presented to me like: “what are you going to tell the police if he dies as to why you just sat there and did not call for help?”  I admit that this did cause me great concern, but every time I thought about it I felt the Lord standing there with his hand outstretched – as if to say: “Stop - wait!” like police officer’s do.  Finally the Lord spoke: “If that happens and he dies, I will put the words in your mouth to answer, I will speak through you.”  So I just sat there and watched him sleep, prayed and wondered. 

I began to investigate what he may have taken, in case I had to tell authorities what I thought he had ingested.  I found the Flexeril bottle in the trash, empty which had 20 pills in it, and also I knew he only had 11 Percocet, for pain.  I knew he had drunk approximately one third of the Jack Daniel, but that was all I thought he had taken.  Jack lay there, from sometime during the night (?), until around 5:00 PM when he finally started to move and speak.  Christina helped me get him into one of those rolling office chairs as he needed to go to the bathroom; he could not stand as he still had all that junk in his system. 

After it was all over and he came out of it, he began to discuss it with me.  I let him know what my investigations had discovered, that he had taken: 20 Flexeril, 11 Percocet, alcohol… when he corrected me and said: “I took more than that – I had a bunch of sleeping pills and some more Percocet too – that should have done the trick – I don’t understand why it didn’t work!”   I found out that Jack had been planning this for some time and had been saving his pills – acting like he was out or low and hiding them in a Rolaids bottle so I would not know; altogether he had over 100 pills in his system!  (I also considered the fact that he was operating on very little prescription drugs in order to save them all up – that alone is incredible considering the grade level of his cancer!)

I knew the Lord had performed a miracle!  I told Jack: “the fact that you lived through all that should tell you the Lord intervened in the situation and also, I prayed that it would not work.  But Monday morning I went to work and was discussing the situation with my boss, Johnny Johnston who is a strong believer when the Lord revealed something to me.  He showed me that had I called 911, Jack would have blamed the pills not working on you, the ambulance staff and ER medical staff (especially you though).  But by letting the Lord totally have the situation – God got all the credit for it’s not working.  The Lord wanted Jack to see that it was God and God alone that had kept it from working!  Jack never again tried to take his life, as he came to understand that the Lord was not going to allow that to happen and he began to draw closer to the Lord up to the time of his death.

I believe it will be very important in the days ahead to know His voice and be lead by His Spirit.  We need to familiarize ourselves with His voice now before trouble comes unexpectedly.  This was quite a lesson on waiting upon the Lord and trusting in Him totally for guidance – going against the grain, so to speak.

Chapter 10: LOVE'S GREATEST TRIAL, PART 2

Divine Dreams – Spiritual Warfare

During the process of Jack’s external radiation treatments, I sought the Lord for guidance.  I would pray every day on the way to work and driving home for Jack.  I prayed: “Lord, I ask you to inhibit every cancer’s cell’s ability to reproduce itself; I come against your ability to multiply, in the name of Jesus; I plead the blood over Jack and those cancer cells – hinder them from reproducing, in Jesus Name.”   At the end of these external radiation treatments, we waited.  I received instruction through dreams that the Lord gave me to direct my steps, I believe because I was often times so overwhelmed with trying to help Jack understand, when in truth, I did not understand myself yet.   

First Dream:  I dreamed that I was speaking at a church and was standing on the platform introducing myself – there were rows of chairs, with people (older than myself at time of this dream) in the classroom, with a center isle leading to the podium.  As I was speaking I saw people at the back-center row begin to just fall on their faces as if in postulation before the Lord’s presence!  I watched as this “Presence” moved down the isle, everyone falling on their faces before Him in worship – I could not see Him, only see the effects of His presence on each individual, when suddenly a hand or force, invisible, lifted me up and I started gradually rising up towards the ceiling.  I was shaking and trembling literally from His Holy Presence – I thought I was going to die from His Holiness but His mercy, grace and steadfast love lifted me up and covered me!  I got to the ceiling and Jack shook me and said, “Wake up Sharron, your having a night mare!”  The next morning the Lord Spoke to me and said:  “I just want you to remember, it is Me in you working and outside of Me, you can do nothing!”  I always wondered what the Lord would have shown me if Jack had not awakened me. 

• My Interpretation:  I felt this dream was to make sure I gave the Lord all the credit, along with the body of Christ, for the things that were going to transpire and not get caught up in spiritual pride.  I have had lots of people over the years make comments when they were told some of my stories, but I have always tried to give the credit to who credit was due. 

Second Dream:   I had another dream shortly after that one…Jack and me were walking down a road in the middle of a wheat field, during the winter – when everything green is gone/dead.  Jack seemed to be focused on all the dead, bare trees, grass, and wheat, pointing out all the dead stuff everywhere – no life.  I began looking for something green, thinking: I know there is life someplace, so I began searching for anything green, or at least one blade of grass – life, when I came upon a huge rock in the far corner of this field of wheat.  At the base of this rock it appeared as if something had protected a few blades of new green grass – like an outdoor mat had been moved.  I yelled at Jack to come and see: LIFE!  He came over and joined me, when I immediately noticed a small opening inside the rock – we squeezed through the opening and on the other side was a huge river that looked like an ocean, crystal clear like a mountain stream, with round, smooth stones all over the bottom.  Standing out in the water was a man dressed in rubber fishing coverall’s.   He reached into the water and grabbed a giant “sea bass” that covered up half of his body and tossed it to the pier where we were both standing.  He then reached in again and picked up another “sea bass” and said: “There will be many big catches for the Kingdom of God through this experience”.  I woke up and started talking about life – fixing my attention on life and not death, a day at a time:  (I also discovered – not being a fisherman, there really is such a thing as a sea bass!) 

• My Interpretation:  I felt this dream was to take my focus off the death sentence Jack had been given, with no hope – everyone, everywhere around us spoke of hopelessness, despair and Jack’s death.  I was to focus upon ‘life” through Jesus Christ and see what the Lord would do, a day at a time.  The rock represented, to me, Jesus Christ as the only way to our Heavenly Father.  The fish would represent people coming into the kingdom through our experience together (two fish).

Third Dream:  I had another dream after Jack was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and given 3 years to live at the most – I dreamed that I was standing in a house looking out the window and it was in a populated area – buildings closely packed together, like the center of a city, when I saw a tornado drop down and begin coming down the street with great fury!  I got scared and started shaking violently!  The Lord spoke to me and said:  “Rebuke it in My Name!”   I walked outside as it was approaching, trembling at its speed and destructive fury; I yelled with all my might: “I command you to stop and go back up into the clouds where you belong – NOW, in the name of Jesus!”  I watched it go into reverse and within seconds the sky was blue and sunny with no evidence of its existence!

• My Interpretation:  I felt through this dream the Lord was instructing me to come against the cancer cell’s ability to reproduce – to bind its reproductive ability.  Also the Lord instructed me to pray: “for the circuitry of Jack’s brain, that God would heal his brain’s damaged communication abilities.”  The tornado, to me was the cancer’s stage 4 level and its fast destructive power.

Shortly after this dream, I was praying about Jack and his death sentence and whether or not it was spiritual or physical that I was dealing with – how to pray.  I decided to do a 48 hour water fast and seek the Lord’s guidance on how do deal with this “thing”. During the fast I had a very vivid dream: 

Fourth Dream:  I dreamed that I was walking around the Capital building – park area in Washington DC, when I noticed a white limousine driving very slowly down the road.  Seated in the backseat was a man dressed in white formal attire, that reminded me of a Pope (like he wears addressing the crowds in St. Peter’s Square, Vatican City) with the headdress on also, but the person had the face of “death” upon him!  I watched this face of death fix its gaze upon me and as the limousine was driving very slowly down the road, this entity began turning in his seat, never taking his eyes off of me – watching me intently while driving down the road!  Next, I was standing in a court room, where the session had just finished and the verdict rendered – I walked up to this little bald headed judge and very nervously began trying to explain to him that I believed in the power of healing through Jesus Name and that I would like to lay my hands upon him and pray (also I noticed that there were two attorney’s standing on the side, packing up their papers, when they stopped and began watching and staring intently at me instead) when suddenly the judge grabbed my hands before I even finished speaking and placed them on top of his head!  At the moment I spoke Jesus Name – a violent “giant” of a “hulk type person” rammed against the court house doors!  The whole building shook as he took all of his force and rammed the court house double doors, which were strongly locked with a bar.  I could see him outside and said: “He is trying to get to me, but he cannot, as I am covered in the Blood of Jesus!  I woke up and it was Sunday morning and I went to church.  Our pastor, Steve Brown preached on the things we wrestle against are not carnal, but mighty, powerful, to the pulling down of strongholds!  It was as if Pastor Steve knew my dream.  I knew the names of what I was dealing with: death and destruction.  I went home and prayed all through out my house, over each window and doorpost of my house, anointed it with olive oil and grape juice representing the blood of Jesus, and strongly, out loud, rebuked: death and destruction – my house had communion!

• My Interpretation:  I felt the Pope figure was the spirit of death upon Jack and the angry giant hulk creature was destruction along with Jack’s own anger at having to deal with all this.  I felt the two attorneys’s represented people that the Lord had tuned in to reveal what He was going to do through this ordeal.  The judge I felt was Jack – the head of our house, needing prayer – hoping the death sentence just rendered could be changed: hope, strength, and God’s healing.

Now, this is where it gets strange – but as God is my witness, it happened!  The next day – it was February, and the temperature outside was in the teens, and there were “flies” everywhere downstairs!  I am talking about hundreds of flies that seemed half dead, not moving much.  Jack said: “where did all these flies come from in the middle of winter?”  He could swat one time with the fly swatter and kill 5-10 at a time!  What is really strange – there was not one fly upstairs (Our room was downstairs where Jack stayed!  Where could that many flies come from in the middle of winter?  I figured it was a result or outward manifestation given to me by the Lord, showing me it worked – death and destruction had been rebuked!  Jack lived 15 years when no one (according to Dr. Olsen at Emory) had ever lived past five years with a grade 4 Glioma Astrocytoma brain tumor!   Jack made medical history at Emory and actually made Dr. Olson look good.  We saw him on TV one day discussing advancements with these types of cancers – a breakthrough.  Jack said:  “I may have been the cause of your popularity Dr. Olson, I made you look good.”  He answered, “Yes you did Jack, as I now have more new cases then our staff can handle.” 

One day while in Dr. Olson’s office for Jack’s checkup, after his MRI had been studied for an update of his condition, the doctor showed us his MRI and explained the area where the cancerous lesion was – it appeared as if someone had taken a white high-lighter and outlined the tumor’s dwelling place.  White represented live tumor, according to Dr. Olson, but he felt good at what he was seeing and nothing was going on.  I asked:  “Dr. Olson, what do you think about Jack’s progress and tumor in comparison to all the other patients with the same grade cancer as his?  Dr. Olson answered: “Well, Jack is not an ordinary patient – he is unique.  Jack does have live grade 4 cancer cells in the lesion and they multiply very rapidly at this stage, but it is really strange – it is as if the cancer cells’ ability to reproduce themselves has been inhibited – they are there, but not multiplying.” 

My spirit leaped with joy! My specific prayers regarding inhibiting every cancer cell’s ability to reproduce themselves (I also use to say: “Thus far shall you go and no more!”) in the name of Jesus Christ worked!  My prayer words came out of Dr. Olson’s mouth –the way I had prayed them!  I shared this with Dr. Olson after he finished speaking.     

Our story does not end here; I have more to share regarding the Lord’s Invisible Hands upholding us through it all.  My next chapter will be about my husband’s failed attempts to take his life – twice and how the Lord intervened for me and our three girls’ sakes.  Prayer does change things, if you only believe.